March 16, 2009
This week has been stressful for me. If it were only to consist of my acceptance to the MSW program, that probably would have been enough. However, you have to add in there the stress of thinking about moving, the problems I've having at my practicum and a couple other things that I won't mention.
All of this has culminated in my sleep being a bit troubled, my sore back acting up and a some other random pain that I haven't had before. Simply put, I am in pain. I hurt. A lot. And it's become a learning experience. I have just a short while left in my practicum and have to work through the pain as best I can. I am on some pain killers, but they're not working as well as I hoped. In a session today, I was having some weird shooting pains and had to center myself before continuing. It is a weird thing to experience. However, viewing it as a learning experience has definitely helped me bear it.
Here I am, with some shooting pains that will go away most likely after one treatment, sitting with people whose pain is sometimes constant and hasn't gone away for years. Their treatment takes a hell of a lot longer than mine, and if they can sit there with their pain, so can I. I don't believe I have lost my capacity to help with this pain. It is not unbearable, just very uncomfortable. I know that if it interferes, I can step aside. For now, though, I am fine. I can sit with it, and my clients and I can learn from each other, about sitting with pain.