Forgiveness Always Wins

I've struggled greatly with forgiveness in my years as a human being, and continue to do so to this day. There are some experiences that are just hard to accept and that just stuck with me and hurt so bad and I held onto that hurt to no end with blame against the other person. Throughout this, all who was really hurting was me.

When you're hurting, forgiveness can feel like the stupidest thing to even think about. However, the way forward can often lie in how we actually understand forgiveness. Imagine that you hold resentment towards someone, but have no interaction with them and never plan to. In that scenario, it's very clear that the only thing being hurt by your lack of forgiveness is you. 

Now move that into someone you have a lot of contact with. You're still hurting you, and it gives you no gain to keep blaming them. So forgiveness isn't "letting someone off the hook" for bad behavior, and we can still hold people accountable and forgive them, because forgiveness is about you, not them. It means you can let go of the hurt you feel for them in your heart and soul, not that you'll let them hurt you again with no consequences.

When we hold onto grudges, we often trap ourselves in the past, replaying hurtful moments, keeping wounds fresh and preventing healing. When we choose to forgive, we create space for growth and self-compassion.

The journey to forgiveness starts with self-reflection. Ask yourself, "What am I holding onto, and how is it affecting my well-being?" This process can bring clarity, allowing you to see the bigger picture and understand that we’re all imperfect. Forgiveness is also a practice of empathy, as it helps you recognize the humanity in others and in yourself.

One helpful approach is to start small and begin by forgiving minor offenses, such as misunderstandings or accidental slights, before working up to deeper wounds. With time and patience, forgiveness can become a natural and useful part of your emotional toolkit.